"Life is not a problem to be solved, it's a mystery to be lived"

After a long time once again present here to talk from heart to heart. Right now, I feel pain and pain around me. It's almost like a month I am not feeling good for no reason. The only reason I can think of is that I have put myself in this loop of not giving my best every day. Which is somehow trying to engulf me like Chakravyuh without letting me know the path of breaking it. I have heard people saying giving your best is difficult and sometimes painful too. But now I feel not giving your best or trying your best is much-much more painful. You cannot blame others because it is not their fault, and you cannot either blame yourself because it is unbearable. I waste time on watching comedy to make myself feel good or happy but instead go in much more deeper guilt, remorse and self-doubt. At times I realize I am making mistake and change my track but again demon of not feeling good deep inside, takes over me and I am here again wasting my precious time on something that is not worthy...

It's time to say goodbye to 2021 which came with a bad beginning for me.  Although I can't say that the entire chapter of 2021 was bad on the basis of a few introductory lines, because somehow it gave me a little insight to be more curious to know the story of my life better! #_6 Jan 2021   I had an accident that day.  We usually never imagine that such things can happen with us as well, and even if we do...we can't imagine how it actually feels when we face it. That moment I felt I might die. I was shocked & blank. I just didn't understand what happened. That night I could not sleep because of the pain and also because of the questions pouring down in my mind like raindrops. I thought what would have happened if I died that day? All my future plans, my aspirations and everything else would have been of no use. Then what was the point of taking all the trouble for them?  I would just become a memory that would fade over time and eventually be forgotten.  I ...